let this NOT be an edition with drama...

what the hell is wrong with me lately? i can't explain it (why doesn't that surprise me)... something is bothering me more than anything and i hate it! i just want to get away! but then when i do get away, i know i'm going to wish with everything i have that i was back here. i don't understand what's going on with me. i wish i had something more positive to give you... to give myself even! it's 12:30 and i am headed to buckley where i am hoping to just relax and sleep. i don't want to think any more tonight... i put in my hour of solitary thought tonight. in my favorite spot on campus. it's so nice at night. the night was breathtaking... it was beautiful out. the clouds, the stars... the moon, that ONE shooting star... it was amazing. the beauty of it all was overwhelming...

for now... i'll settle for being sad i think. i have to honestly wonder how people do it sometimes. it really bothers me. i need something but even i don't know what it is. i think i'll just go for keeping myself company. i think this is the first time that i have wanted my mom while at school. this is the kind of thing where she would sit on the edge of my bed and rub my back. but wait... don't you have to live in the same house to do that? yeah. oh it's going to be a loooong summer, amigos...

and this is me, getting away for tonight.

esprit. tous le temps. mon coeur faible......................................... shit.