Subject: My rebuttle from last night...

My apologies.

Top 3 things that keep me sane, well-grounded, balanced, and happy:
1)Running
2)Journal
3)Friends

So thank goodness for those things.

I am down to my final 5 days... ever... in the toll booth. I am happy and sad. As much as I despise the place (and I really do), it has taught me a lot of things. It also saved my ass during a time when I was so far in debt I thought I would never be able to make it on my own. (Matt Brown remembers this because he paid for everything for me... my Dirty South girls remember this because I cried every night) It taught me a lot about people that are way different than me... people like James, Georgia, Steve Pappas, Linda, everyone. I learned a lot about finding value in people who are on a completely different path than I am. And I met people like Joe Bialy, Chris, Mike, Amanda, Lindsey... and Marty, of course. And as much as I have enjoyed being mean to him and joking around, he really is a good friend and I do respect him and everything he stands for (even being Polish). I am genuinely sad to leave these people. They really are great.

Moral of the story? Respect your toll collectors... they're interesting, fun-loving, and all-around awesome people.

Quote of the night from Dad, about why Kate and I shouldn't get a puppy: "Remember, puppies turn into dogs... and dogs shit like elephants."
Thanks Dad, for always dispensing your knowledge and wisdom on me.

On another note, I can't wait to wear my SHORT SPARKLY dress tomorrow night!!!!!!!! Could this be the last post of 2005? We shall see...

Subject: I should stay far away from my blog when I am this unhappy.

No, it's nothing in particular.

No, I don't want to talk about it.

No, it's nothing anyone can help with.

I don't even know why I feel like this but it sucks. You ever look at your life on a whole and wonder how the hell you got there? Cause after all the friendships, all the family, all the love, you just end up alone anyway.

I'm so scared... this sucks... I hate it. I'm going to be on my own forever.

Subject: And so this is Christmas... A recap of the past few days!

Christmas Eve: I worked 2-10 at the Pike and it was SLOOOOW as hell, so we had a pretty good time. Bill Blodgett sang Christmas carols into a parking cone for a good portion of the night, which was pretty hilarious. And I got to put myself into a machine on entry and then go and visit Marty for some of the evening, which was also fun, cause Marty is a cool kid and we have fun together. People were ridiculously friendly, which was awesome, but sadly that's almost over! I got a lot of extra tips and stuff, it was cool.
After work I had a crazy 2 hour road trip. I came back to my apartment, picked up all of my crap for Christmas day, and then went back to Sturbridge and met Munchie. We met Katie and Mike at St. Mary's for midnight mass, which was awesome. I really enjoyed it- it was so peaceful, the lighting was perfect inside the church, and Munchie and I (of course) got a fairly hysterical laughing fit in the middle of church. Actually, it was more like gagging because we were trying so hard not to laugh. It was fun.
I went back to Munchie's after mass and we stayed up until 4 am hanging out and talking and stuff. For some reason, we were just not tired. It was fun though, we haven't done the sleepover thing in a really long time, so we had a good time.

Christmas Day: I got up at 7 am, showered, and headed to Mom and Bill's. We did Santa and family presents. I think Bill gave my mom and I the best present this year: matching diamond necklaces. The sotry is cool though: the diamonds were both cut from one stone, and throughout the whole process of making the necklace, they've never been separated. It's a mother- daughter thing. So I really enjoyed that.
We headed to Auntie Linda's for dinner (which happens at noon for us) and hung out with Memere and Pepere, as well as my two very overexcited cousins, who are 10 and 6. They were crazy! We did presents and hung out and ATE SO FREAKIN MUCH and had a good time. When we were done there, we went to Auntie Margaret's for more food. My whole family was there and it was fun. The kids corralled me for awhile and I was stuck playing house (they are 10, 5, 3, 11, and 9) but then I escaped and got to chat with the adults as well. That was really fun- laughing with my cousins about everything. My generation is really young (all of those ages above are in my generation) but my cousins Jess and TJ are also in it (they are 21 and 20) and after last night, we adopted Tom and his partner Brian who are in their 30s. It was fun! :)

As for today, it is pouring rain and I have to work at the Pike. But I am stopping at CVS to pick up pictures from last Friday first!! I can't wait to get these into frames!!!