I think I've seen enough fireworks... (metaphorically speaking)

(*sigh*) It is a never ending battle.

I wanted to post b/c I think we may have some good news:

THE JEEP has been found... I think. The only thing I don't like about it is the fact that it is on E-Bay. I have always found the E-Bay shopping thing to be a little sketchy. Especially for vehicles. And even moreso if it is a vehicle that I am going to be driving. Well, let's just hope it goes well.

Unlike my Yankees. What the hell happened last night? And today? No worries, though, b/c it is almost Labor Day which can only mean bad news bears for the Red Sox. I still have full faith in my Yankees. And our husband, right Kate?

Today I went to Jess's (my mom's b/f's daughter's...whew) graduation party. I'd like to get to know her better, especially if our parents are going to spend time together. She went to Tantasqua, which makes it a little strange but a little good too. Strange b/c SHS and THS were rivals. Good b/c chances are we know a decent amount of the same people b/c Tantasqua is right next to us town-wise. We'll see how it goes...

Tonight will bring the Southbridge fireworks celebration at the airport. Hopefully it will be a worthwhile show. They usually drop a decent amount of money on the whole evening, so it should be good. Tomorrow is Auntie Margaret's annual 4th of July cookout. This can only mean good things: fantastic food, hanging out by the pool, the little cousins, and the fun of my mom's side of the family. I am looking forward to it. I miss my family. Tomorrow night will be Jay's house with the whole crew. No doubt more food, alcohol, etc. It should be a good time.

Until then, I am sitting tight... Hope all of you faithful Blog readers (or just Tony?) are having a happy 4th!

I'm not scared, I'm not scared...

INSERT SCREAM HERE

I only wish I felt better...

More toddlers today!

Worked from 9-2:30 today with them. Full house, too! 8 on one side, 6 on the other I think! I spent most of my day centered around Victoria, the newest edition. She's only been there about a week, and she hasn't fallen into the routine yet. She cried straight from when she got there at 9 until we came inside for lunch at 11:30ish. After lunch she cried more before her nap, but then she fell asleep for an hour and a half or so. She was good through her snack, until it was 2:30 and time for me to leave, then she cried more! That was cool. They're great... But I was drained. Plus, I wasn't feeling too well (it's a wonderful thing...) so I was in pain as well. Came home, took some meds, and chilled on the couch while watching tape 1 of "The Best of FRIENDS"- My favorite t.v. show. I went to CT to get my mail, only to find nothing good... (*sigh*)

Working again tomorrow. Tonight, I am working for my dad doing his billing. That will be some much needed extra cash by the end of the summer I am sure. Especially if I keep going at this rate...

...But, it's summer. I'll do my bext to relax and get in the right mindset before going back to school. This is going to be my semester to bust my ass academically in hopes to pull that GPA up. My first semester at college and then my semester PM-ing... My GPA has seen better days.

My original plan for this weekend was to go to Stamford for the 4th of July. However, given the recent events, I really don't think I am going to be able to go. That's going to bum me out bigtime. It would have been good to see everyone. I just think I have to put family before friends this time, which is not a call I make often. There's just too much going on...

That being said, it's time to go. I need to re-read over some council stuff to make sure I am not screwing myself over in the long run as far as communications stuff goes.

Remember to breathe...

Hanging in there...

So last night sucked a lot. But, in the early hours of the morning I was finally able to think clearly. I owe that to a friend of mine that I never thought I was close to until I needed him the most. Thanks.

I want to apologize for the feel of my entries lately. They're all depressed, sad, and angry. It really sucks to read them. I am going to try my best to post the good things and leave the bad things for my own journal... Nothing like censoring... I wish I didn't have to, but just try to understand that I am in a tough position right now.

Today was good. I went to UCONN to do council stuff in the grad office. I did that for a good hour and a half, and then I went by Joe, Rich, and Lauren's to say hello. I ended up running into Schwab and then we hung out with Rich and Lauren. Lauren went to work, and Schwab and I went to get Subway. We came back, ate and watched Catch Me if You Can with Rich. I liked it a lot! Then the 3 of us went to see Joe. We hung out at his friends' apartment for awhile and then Schwab brought me back to get my jeep so I could leave. It was 9:15 by the time I came home...

...But it was so good to see Joe, Rich and Lauren today. (I would say Schwab, too, but I see him a lot!) I definitely missed them and I am looking forward to more good times next year. I am especially looking forward to having Rich as our head Drum Major. He is going to kick ass at it. He deserves to be wearing that uniform.

I hung out with Katie tonight. It was good to see her too! Her and I don't spend too much QT together, we never really have. But it's nice every once in awhile! The beach is on tap for tomorrow... It will be my second Tuesday in a row!

Time for my journal now.

Take care.

I can't do this much longer...

I don't know what to do. I can't put this on my fricken blog but it is midnight and no one is online so I can't talk to anyone. I am backed into a corner, and it's the worst corner I have ever been in. My dad... I don't even know what to do with him anymore. I can't be around him. LIFE GOES ON! My god, life goes on...

Please, grant me the strength to get through this alive

...b/c right now I don't think I can do it. I don't have it in me. I've never felt as incapable as I feel right now. Please...