Subject: A completely new perspective on life.
My apologies for the lack of posting. (I do realize that only a few people actually read this)
My whole life has been changed... I definitely have not been the friend I've wanted to be, but I have been the best damn daughter anyone could ever ask for. I've always been faced with the idea of losing my Dad. He's had so many heart complication, surgeries, and hospitalizations that I just grew up preparing myself for the worst. It's just been a part of life.
I was never faced with the idea of losing my Mom. Well, in April we found out that it's going to be a certaintly. She was diagnosed with ALS in mid-April. ALS is terminal. There is no cure.
So, now here we are. Completely changed. I've become well-versed on the topic of ALS, treatment options, wheelchairs, and family heritage. I've been the recipient of many of my mom's old possessions... things that I remember and associate with her from my childhood... and we have a list of other things that I want when the time comes. I have her china. Her grandmother's cookie jar. My birth certificate. Things that I don't want, but have an all-consuming desire to possess because it belonged to her and I know that someday, I will want it all and then some.
This has been my life for the past 2 months. I've been there all but 2 weekends since then to have dinner on Sunday nights with my grandparents. I've been trying to be the daughter that my Mom has always wanted because I know that sooner rather than later, I will no longer have the opportunity.
It's been a horrible reality. It all feels like a bad dream that I can't wake up from. It leaves such a lump in my throat on a daily basis that I literally choke from it.
I'm not one for prayer, but please pray for strength, light, and health in this dark time.
My apologies for the lack of posting. (I do realize that only a few people actually read this)
My whole life has been changed... I definitely have not been the friend I've wanted to be, but I have been the best damn daughter anyone could ever ask for. I've always been faced with the idea of losing my Dad. He's had so many heart complication, surgeries, and hospitalizations that I just grew up preparing myself for the worst. It's just been a part of life.
I was never faced with the idea of losing my Mom. Well, in April we found out that it's going to be a certaintly. She was diagnosed with ALS in mid-April. ALS is terminal. There is no cure.
So, now here we are. Completely changed. I've become well-versed on the topic of ALS, treatment options, wheelchairs, and family heritage. I've been the recipient of many of my mom's old possessions... things that I remember and associate with her from my childhood... and we have a list of other things that I want when the time comes. I have her china. Her grandmother's cookie jar. My birth certificate. Things that I don't want, but have an all-consuming desire to possess because it belonged to her and I know that someday, I will want it all and then some.
This has been my life for the past 2 months. I've been there all but 2 weekends since then to have dinner on Sunday nights with my grandparents. I've been trying to be the daughter that my Mom has always wanted because I know that sooner rather than later, I will no longer have the opportunity.
It's been a horrible reality. It all feels like a bad dream that I can't wake up from. It leaves such a lump in my throat on a daily basis that I literally choke from it.
I'm not one for prayer, but please pray for strength, light, and health in this dark time.
