Just when you thought the worst was over...

Wrong! Another killer fever today: 101.8, but it doesn't feel any better than the 102.2 ones either. So that was from about 8:30-11:00. Before that it was just me rolling around in my bed feeling so nauseous. That was from 6:00 am-the fever started. Will I ever get a break?!

I think the Advil worked. I am about 3 seconds away from calling my section leaders and telling them that I am having a huge problem and that I don't know how well it will work out on the field or in 102. When I think about it, this is my conclusion: I haven't stood up for any length of time for 3 days. The most has been like 10 minutes in the shower, and afterwards I went straight back to bed. So that might kill my marching rehearsals. And then there's the fact that I get headaches that thrive on the sound of my Jeep running, imagine the headaches that will come with the 260+ person marching band crammed into 102? And the fevers... I just don't see them working out while I'm marching and such when I have a hard time laying down with it. Whew, it's gonna be an interesting week.

But for right now I need to not think about that stuff. If I dwell on it, then I will stress myself out and panic again. I can't have that happen. My body needs all it has just to keep me getting better! I'm modifying Tony's anthem: Instead of one day at a time, one moment at a time. I'm so pissed. I want to be healthy.

(*gasp*) merr!

Welp...

So it's been a real trip lately. Yesterday was by far, the "best". I woke up in the morning with a 101.8 fever, and still a crazy headache and my back hurt so much. So, I made a doctor's appointment. Katie took me (thanks, Kates, for everything) and my doctor said there was no way it was stress, and he wanted to take me to the ER to have a spinal tap done, b/c he thought it might be viral meningitis. After a painstaking call to my Mom at work, she was at the hospital with me, and we were waiting to get the spinal tap done. The fun part is, since they thought I might have it, I wasn't allowed in the waiting room of the hospital. We stood in the hallway for about 5 minutes before they brought me into the negative pressure room... where they put all of the highly infectious and contagioius diseases. Yes, I felt like a walking germ...

The spinal tap... well, let's just say that a foot-long needle in between the discs in my back is not my idea of a good time. And it hurt. And who created Johnnys, anyway?! Afterwards, I had to lay there for 2 hours while waiting for results, which came back negative, and then go home and lay on my back for 12+ more hours. I called Munch and Katie at work, who were worried sick by then (thanks guys) and told them I was in the clear. They came by later with flowers, delivered by their own gloved hands and masked faces (I hate you guys... but thanks!). We hung out for a bit... Until the painkillers were wearing off of me, and I started feeling awful again.

Last night was a great time. I had an even bigger fever (102.2) at almost 2am. I was pretty much scared stiff. I'm still not sure how I can tackle preseason like this. I am feeling better, but still not 100%. I need to be 110% for preseason. I don't know where I am going to find it, but I have to...

As for right now, I am going to attempt a shower. Since Tuesday morning, I haven't been able to stand up long enough to take one. Yuck, I feel gross.

Thanks to everyone for your concern and support, but especially to Munch, Katie, Lisa, Joe, Tony, Jeff, and Beta Rho.
I appreciate it.

Too stressed to sleep...

Sorry it's been so long. I've been having a lot of problems... It seems the stress level has risen at the house lately. For the most part, I cover them up, but this past week I have been doing a really lousy job of it. I've had nasty headaches. They hurt my whole head, my neck, and all the way down my spine. I get dizzy and lightheaded, and most of the time have to sleep until it goes away. It hurts so much that I cry. They come and go all throughout the day, and into the night... The stress around here is really interfering with everything: Home, job, eating, sleeping (Guess again why you see me online so much at night), everything. I feel kinda like I have hit rock bottom... again. I thought I was through with this, but I don't think the worst is over. I still have so many masked emotions about everything going on. It sucks, I wish I could just get it all out. I never realized the toll that emotional stress took out on your body. I feel like I can't deal with it anymore... but

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON I need to find my strength again...

I am going back to school Monday. This is bittersweet for me. My mom and Munchie are helping me move in. I'm really thankful for that: Munchie's Highlander can carry all of my big stuff, all my boxes can go in my Jeep, and my mom can ride with Munchie and hold my fish. Plus, I will have help for all the work I thought I would be doing alone. I am in the midst of packing. It's a mess, my room is gross. I will feel better when it is all moved into Jefferson 302... I will feel better when I am moved into Jefferson 302...

A few things: Congrats to Tony on starting at ESPN... Congrats to Girosky for being able to march with the UCMB this season... Thank you to Munch and Katie for tonight, I really appreciate it guys...

I'll probably hit the Blog once more before heading to UCONN. Until then..

adieu.

::6 more days::